State of Disinterest

Ah yes, it's that time of the year again, the time when we all closet our chores, amass the troops & slug a few hundred schooners all in the name of "football", but this isn't just any game of "football", this is State of Origin "football"- where boys become men, and i become disinterested.

Whilst we're on the topic of football, let's first & foremost get one thing clear, there is, has, and always will be, only one football, the football the WORLD plays, the beautiful game, joga bonito for our Brazilian friends & tika taka for our Spanish friends.

You simply cannot call a sport, where you catch an egg-shaped ball, which correct me if i'm wrong, is not the correct shape of a ball, then which you subsequently catch again, with your hands, then dropped, again with your hands into an area to score a "try", in the process, disregarding all implements of creativity and intelligence. But i suppose in it's own way that is a form a creativity, it's quite a creative use of language, you're saying one thing, & meaning something COMPLETELY different.

I am sorry but that's not football, this is football-

But whether you like it or not, State of Origin is an important component of Australian culture, it is a grudge match pitting state against state, team against team & mate against mate. It is a time where whether you're a die-hard rugby league fan, or an intelligent human being, capable of rational thinking, you go down to your local and watch the game, as i have, for the majority of the games during my time of existence, and it's a tradition that i hope, will continue in the coming years (excitement town, population one!).

So as i sat there with my mates, tucked into my very mediocre Chicken Parmigiana, accompanied with a refreshing glass of Pure Blonde, i was on tenterhooks, eagerly anticipating the result of Game 2 & boy was i excited (if you're not familiar with the usage of sarcasm, especially in the last 2 paragraphs, please look away now).

The match began with a flurry of tackles, but not the Sergio Ramos-esque tackles that i'm so used to, these were "real men"tackles or as i like to call them "big boy tackles". Queensland started the game the brighter, intent on levelling the tie, & backed by a raucous home crowd, they drew first blood when Sam Thaiday stormed through the NSW defence and scored after gathering a deliciously squared ball from Cooper Gronk, sorry i meant, Cronk.

But that's not what I & three million Aussies were here to watch, we were after the good stuff, the biff, the biffo, the argy-bargy, whatever you want to call it- we wanted a scrap. Personally i was looking out for Nate Myles, who incidentally looks like he belongs on an evolution wall chart between Homo Habilis & Homo Erectus, but it was not he who started the ensuing meleé, but instead, Trent Merrin (i don't know who he is either) who threw down on Brent Tate for pushing Paul Gallen. Tsk, tsk, handbags.

           

"My father did love me, okay?!"

               
The events that followed were rather comical and once again exemplified the lack of discipline that Rugby League is all about. Four players were sent to the naughty corner for ten minutes of self-evaluation and reflection, & as i sat there attempting to contain my laughter, i couldn't help but to contemplate, once again, just how inferior Rugby League is to Football.

For a sport where you can only pass the "ball" backwards with only one line of both attack & defence (yes, that's true), combined with 26 neanderthals all brimming with exponential testosterone levels, lacking in creativity, tactical nous & finesse, there is no wonder to me why they would harbour ambitions to instigate a "do or die gladiator, roman century-esque" fight to the death. And let's the face it, that's the only good part of the game.

I'm not even going to bother finishing reporting the rest of the game to you, because quite frankly, i couldn't give a fuck, but since we're on this matter, i merely just want to ask one question- Why is the state of origin only between two states? What's wrong with the other four states and two territories? You couldn't find thirteen players to field a side in those places?.

I have never been one to shy away from the truth or resist the temptation of honesty to others, so in the spirit of honesty, let me be honest. I couldn't give a flying fuck that Football plays second fiddle to Rugby League in this country, because my game, the world game, is part of something that's much bigger than Australia. It touches every single corner on every single continent, it is the common language that unites everyone irrespective of race, nationality, culture & religion.

Rugby League is a big fish in a small pond, a fish that one day will be caught, skinned, macerated and pan-fryed with a zest of lemon, served with a side plate of balsamic rice (take note, that's how i like my fish).

I leave you now with a quote from legendary Liverpool FC manager Bob Paisley- "Some people believe Football is a matter of life & death, i'm very disappointed with that attitude, I can assure you it's much, much more important than that".